


real

by harryisqueen



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Body Horror, Car Accidents, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomnia, Jughead Jones Needs a Hug, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Not Canon Compliant, Past Bughead, Past Relationship(s), Running Away, Self-Harm, Sleep Deprivation, Suicide, bughead - Freeform, self harm in later chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-11-09 09:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17999471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryisqueen/pseuds/harryisqueen
Summary: She was real.At least he thought she was.No, he knew she was.He was perfectly sane.At least he thought he was.No, he knew he was





	1. Chapter 1

Jughead still lay awake at 4:42 am his eyes staring up at the ceiling blinking. In nights of insomnia like these, he thought of her. He loved her with all of his being, with everything in him. She loved him too he was sure of it. With an annoyed sigh, he threw the blankets off his sticky & sweaty body and trudged his way to the kitchen. Time for a midnight; well more so 4 am snack should fix this. He would not call her. He fixed himself an English muffin and sat at the table and laid his head on the small plastic table and closed his weary eyes. His thoughts would not stop racing. He could not get his brain to shut off no matter how much he tried. He missed her with everything in him. The pop of his muffin finishing toasting startled him out of his sleepy state and when he raised his head there she was.

“Hello dear,” she said with a bright smile.

He stared for a moment before mumbling out a barely audible “hi.”

She followed him bare feet padding behind him as he pulled his hot English muffin out the toaster.

 “C’mon,” she said pouting her lip out “don’t ignore me, Jug, I came all this way just to see ya,” she said reaching a handout.

Her fingernails had been chewed down to the point of scabs forming where the nails had disappeared. Once her hand came in contact with his shoulder he let out a small sigh. Jughead was yet to say anything besides his simple mildly annoyed “hi” from earlier. She continued to hover over him her breath fanning across his long dark hair that reached just above his collar bones.

“So,” she said pulling herself on the counter up on the counter and snatching half of his English muffin.

“What’s up with the ‘tude you’ve got today,” she said taking a large bite of it then continuing “not happy to see me.” She was smiling that smile that taunted him.

“No, I'm just tired” he mumbled out yet to touch the half of English muffin she had left him.

“Then go to sleep silly,” she said with the giggle he was certain was a sound he would hear in heaven.

 “It’s harder to do it,” he said.

 She didn’t understand why he couldn’t sleep.

 She didn’t understand it was mostly her fault.

“It doesn’t really matter anyway.” he continued finally taking a tiny bite out of his snack.

“I have to get up in an hour and 36 minutes anyhow I’ll be fine I’ll just drink lots of red bull and coffee,” he said dryly.

“Good idea” she squealed hopping down from the counter with a loud thump.

She was always like this encouraging the bad habits he had and knew were bad. She knew they were bad too she just didn’t care. She loved to see the self-destruction that came from not sleeping.

 “How’d you even get here and why are you here. Haven’t you heard it’s polite to knock?” he said slightly annoyed but still trying to be kind.

 Loving her was the most exhausting thing.

She rolled her green eyes at him. She seemed to do that a lot.

“I came because I felt like it and it none of ya business how I got here” she snapped slightly annoyed at his cross tone with her.

 “Besides you should be happy to see me no matter why I'm here.”

He could see that annoying temper starting to flare up. She expected so much from him. She was still harshly looking at him as he struggled to fumble out a proper and apologetic reply that would satisfy her.

“I’m sorry,” he said lamely.

“Good you should be you’re lucky I’m even with you.”

He prevented himself from rolling his eyes knowing it would set her temper off.

He finished the English muffed and picked up his plate to bring it to the sink to be rinsed off.

“C’mon let’s do something fun,” she said smiling that dazzling toothy smile.

He loved that smile.

His eyes felt heavy with sleepiness. How could he let her down gently?

“I’m tired,” he said.

She shot him a pouty glare. “You weren’t 5 seconds ago.”

He glanced at the clock that read 5:17 am.

“Can’t we just lay together or something?” he asked?

He was so tired.

She groaned “I come all this way to see you and all you wanna do it sleep.”

“I have to wake up in an hour and 13 minutes” he continued.

“So,” she said.

He was so exhausted.

“Please,” he asked more so begged lamely.

She just glared at him.

 “Fine if I’m not wanted I’ll just leave” she snapped at him.

“No,” he said loudly slightly startling himself.

“Please” he started lowering his voice. I need you here to help me sleep.”

He wouldn’t be exhausted if she’d just stay.

“You don’t love me do you, Jughead.” She said her green eyes welling with tears.

“No I do love you” he insisted desperate for her not to cry.

“Then if you love me you won’t sleep and instead take me for a drive.”

He was so tired.

“I’ll take you for a drive tomorrow and we’ll do something tomorrow” he bribed.

 “Let’s just sleep for now.”

She narrowed her eyes down to slits at him clearly annoyed. She let out a huff

“No, if we aren’t doing it now I’m leaving.”

He didn’t know if he blinked or if she disappeared right before him but she was there one moment and gone the next. He was so exhausted. He ran a hand over his face. After minutes of just standing in his kitchen, he finally moved.

 He regretted not complying with her.

He could’ve slept tomorrow instead.

He didn’t sleep that much. He sat on the side of his bed wishing that she would just come back to him. He needed her. He needed her so he wouldn’t be so exhausted. After staring at his blue striped duvet for a few moments he pulled back the blankets and laid in his lonely much too big bed. He wished she was there with him so he could just sleep. The one thing he needed most she didn’t want for him. He closed his tired weak eyes knowing without her he’d never get sleep. He was so exhausted.

 

His alarm clock blared out at precisely 6:30 am. He didn’t want to wake up. His dreams were riddled with her. Only her. He was so exhausted. He pulled his heavy tired body out of his bed. His bed was never a comfort to him never had been. He pulled his usual light jeans from his drawers and the first shirt in his closet. He tiredly made his way to his kitchen for a surprise. There she was in one of his shirts sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of where he sat.

“Mornin Jughead,” she said with that dazzling smile that never failed to draw him in.

He sat down and stared at the bowl full of his favourite. Froot Loops.

Her giggled rang through the kitchen. “I forgot the milk silly me.”

She rose from her chair and he watched her sashay to the fridge.

“Who forgets milk with cereal,” she said with another one of those heavenly giggles he loved so much.

He grabbed the milk from her hands with a tiny smile. His hands shook a little bit as he poured it. He was so exhausted.

“How’d ya sleep last night” she questioned?

 

 “Fine.” He was confused he thought she was mad at him.

“Why are you here?” He questioned but caught himself knowing that would set her temper off. “I thought you were mad at me?”

“Well I am still mad you but I can’t have you talking to any other girls.” She said again with that smile.

He was so exhausted.

“Well what are you waiting for go ahead and eat,” she said.

He spooned the cereal into his mouth watching her as she pranced around the kitchen fixing him coffee. He finished his cereal before she had finished his coffee. He stood up to rinse out his bowl just as she finished. She had made it in the little black cup that he could take with him.

“Thank you” he mumbled out.

“Jughead” she spoke just as he was about to walk into his room to grab his backpack.

“Next time you ignore me like that I won't come back,” she said.

“I know I'm sorry,” he said.

He was so exhausted.

When he grabbed his backpack from his room and had returned she was gone. He was sad she was gone but also relieved. She exhausted him further. He walked out of his apartment locking the door behind him. Once reaching the end of the hall he turned around and walked back to reassure himself he had locked the door. Once he reached the parking lot he climbed into his car.

He couldn’t concentrate that day. He was exhausted. The professor’s voice and students around him sounded like they were speaking a foreign language. He was relieved when the day was over. He was so exhausted. When he reached his car his kinda friend Archie stood there waiting for him.

“Hey,” Archie said shooting him a slightly concerned smiled.

“Sup” was Jughead’s standard response.

 “Did you sleep at all last night?” Archie asked bluntly giving Jughead that annoying worried look he seemed to get a lot.

 

 

“Yeah pretty well actually” Jughead spoke lying through his teeth.

 He knew he should feel bad lying to his kinda friend but he didn’t’. He was just too exhausted.

“Really bro because you look like shit.”

Archie was never one to beat around the bush. Jughead just blinked back at him. When Jughead had told Archie about her. Archie thought he was crazy. Archie had tried to convince him to not rush into things. His break up with Betty was still painfully fresh. He didn’t care what Archie had to say though.

“Yeah I’m fine I swear I’m not lying,” Jughead said giving Archie his most convincing smile.

He just wanted to not be so tired.

 “If you say so, bro.”

Jughead could tell by the look on Archie’s that he didn’t believe him. Frankly, Jughead didn’t really care.

 “Alright, I'm gonna go,” Jughead said climbing into his car.

 Archie waved to him as he pulled out of the schools parking lot. He had been driving for barely 5 minutes before she showed up.

“God he’s so annoying,” She said from the back seat rolling her eyes.

“He’s my friend,” Jughead said.

He was so tired.

“I don’t care he’s annoying plus his hairs ugly” She spoke as if his hair had anything to do with his personality.

“Maybe he thinks yours is” Jughead shot back trying to be teasing.

Mistake.

He should’ve known she would take that joke seriously.

“You hate my hair she sneered at him.”

 “I never said that” he tried to protest.

Tried.

“It’s that slut from your history class, isn’t it. You’re sleeping with her aren’t you.” She spat at him

“Wha- no” Jughead was confused.

He would never do that to her.

 “Pull over,” she said.

“Why,” Jughead asked confused? 

“Just pull over for God sake,” She said raising her voice.

He pulled the car over and turned around to ask her what was wrong. When he turned around she was gone. He let out a frustrated scream and slammed his hands against his steering wheel. He was just so exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My tumblr](https://harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)   
>  [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	2. Chapter 2

Jughead awoke in the grumpiest mood yet and with a pounding migraine. She hadn’t stayed out of his dreams in the few hours he managed to sleep. He was sick of her presence. He didn’t wanna go to school today. He knew his friend Archie was worried about him. 

Therefore, he had to show up to not further worry his  friend Archie. He pulled himself out of bed at 7:17 precise 13 minutes precise before he had to be at school. He was gonna be late. He didn’t really care though. He was just so sick of presence. He didn’t even bother with breakfast. Honestly, he didn’t need food just like he didn’t need sleep.

Once he reached the school his friend Archie was standing in the parking lot talking to some other student he wasn’t sure the name of. He focused his eyes back on finding a parking space. Then there she was. He slammed on his breaks sending his body jerking forward than backward. She was smirking at him with those lips he loved so much. Then she was gone. Then back again. In the passenger side.

 “I missed you Jughead” she pouted at him with her perfect rosebud lips.

Something was different about her today. He couldn’t quite place it. Suddenly she jumped across the console and locked their lips. He was just so in love with her presence. Her lips tasted like grapefruits. Bitter but sweet. He loved it so much. She disconnected them with a satisfied smile on those perfect cherry coloured rosebud lips.

“You went to bed early last night” she observed her light barely there eyebrows furrowing.

He swallowed thickly. He went to bed at 4:00 am.

He never wanted her to go away.

“What’s that about” she questioned sounding annoying at him.

He started to speak but was interrupted by a tapping on his window.

There stood Archie thick slug-like eyebrows furrowed at him.

“Classes start in 5 minutes’ bro,” Archie said to him through the glass of the window.

 Jughead glanced at the clock on his radio that read 7:26. “No they don’t” he blankly stated. This only confused Archie further.

“They start in four” Jughead corrected.

 Archie looked like he didn’t know whether to laugh or ask him if he was okay. He went with the first and let out an awkward chuckle. Jughead climbed not so daintily out of his car.

“I’ll meet you inside,” Archie said.

He walked off in that weird way Archie walked.

Once Archie was gone there she was again hovering over his shoulder her barely-there nails tracing his neck.

He was just so satisfied she was still there. Her tracing stopped after a few seconds and she spoke from that beautiful enticing mouth of hers.

“So why’d ya go to bed early?”

“I don’t know sleeping was easy for once” he mumbled out for some reason feeling ashamed.

She let out a laugh. Though it wasn’t really a laugh it sounded like a mouse being strangled.

“Why do you think it was easy,” she asked?

She was definitely annoyed. He just wanted her to be pleased with his presence.

“I don’t know” was his lame response.

He felt cornered.

 He knew she was mad at him.

 “You know I like it when you’re awake so I can pop in whenever and you’re always available,” she said staring at him. He admired the way the sun hit her golden locks.

 He loved it.

He loved her

 “I like your sleepless nights,” she said to him playing with the ends of her beautiful straight hair.

 He loved her and he was just so exhausted.

“Don’t you like them?” she asked him her large green eyes gazing at him.

“Don’t you like it when I come for nice late night visits?”

“Of course I do it’s just.”

He was interrupted at that point.

“You don’t love me” she stated bluntly her long lashes blinking innocently at him.

Her lashes just might possibly be his favourite part of her.

“I do love you but I’m just tired” he tried to explain.

Then she was gone and he was left with an empty feeling. He was just so tired.

Tired of her presence.

Tired of her. Jughead began walking to the building. Upon glancing at his watch the time read 8:19. He was almost an entire hour late. Archie would be worried. Archie would have questions.

 

He hid in the bathroom. He hid in there from 8:22 till 8:47. He approached his next class late. Not because of her but because of his  friend Archie. Archie was a curious person. A worrier too. He knew he would ask why he never showed up. He was just so tired. He sat through the class anxiously waiting to get out of there. He wanted to go home so he could sleep. Just sleep. He was tired.

 So tired. The class released at exactly 9:37 am. He left the classroom.

He was going home to sleep.

He didn’t manage to avoid Archie on his way out though.

“What the heck man ya never showed up for class,” Archie said to him the second he saw him.

Jughead just looked back at him with a blank expression on his face. Archie’s nose had little light freckles scattered across leading onto his cheeks.

“Jughead,” Archie said trying to regain Jughead’s attention.

Jughead’s eyes darted from Archie’s freckles to his eyes.

“Yeah sorry” Jughead replied to him.

“I asked him you wanted to come over tonight Kevin is coming over too if ya wanna just hang,” Archie asked offering him a smile.

 Jughead just blinked back at him.

 Jughead knew it was really up to her.

“I’ll think about it, it depends on how I'm feeling,” Jughead said sending Archie a forced smile.

Archie seemed happy with his response and walked off to his next class.

 

There she was once he came home. She was sitting on his old couch. Her jeans were clearly too long as they covered half her feet.

“Jughead” she squealed hopping off her spot to greet him.

She wrapped her thin arms around his slim waist.

She got on her tiptoes and pecked Jughead’s cheek delicately.

He just wanted her to love him too.

“So Archie wants me to come over and hang out with him and Kevin tonight” Jughead started.

Her beautiful green eyes rolled.

 “Archie is so annoying” she complained.

“He’s not so bad,” Jughead said.

There go those beautiful large eyes again rolling. Her thick eyelashes blinked at him in that way he loved maybe too much. He just wanted her not to be annoyed with him.

 “I say you stay home with me,” she said running her hand up and down his arm.

The little hairs on his arms rose at her touch.

 “C’mon it’ll be way more fun than Archie and Kevin.” She shot him one of those dazzling smiles he loved so much.

“I want to but Archie might get more worried and more annoying if I don’t” He tried reasoning with her.

Her sunken cheeks puffed out the air she was holding in her mouth. A habit she had when she was annoyed.

“Why don’t you wanna be around me” she demanded in that tone he hated.

 “I do but I haven’t seen Archie in a while” He spoke explaining himself.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

Then she spat those hateful words he hated so much.

 “I knew you weren’t strong enough to be around me” she glared at him.

Those wonderful green eyes were so full of hate and it made his stomach twist itself into knots.

“You don’t really love me” she continued. “Are you gay”

She let out that beautiful chuckle he hated so much.

“You’re cheating on me with Archie aren’t you?” She let out a laugh.

A cackle almost.

Jughead was shocked at the hateful words spewing from those beautiful rosebud lips.

“No of course not I would never,” Jughead said reaching out a hand to try to comfort her.

She stared at him.

There go those green things again rolling into her head in annoyance.

“You’re so annoying Jughead” she huffed stomping out of the room.

Her short legs tripping over the length of the jeans.

He was just so tired of her.

When he entered the kitchen he was surprised to see her still there.

“Text Archie you’re not coming tonight” she huffed out the demand from those beautiful cherry coloured lips.

“Why” Jughead was confused he thought he had told her he wanted to go tonight.

 

“I’ve decided we should move away,” she said shooting him one of those smiles he adored.

He was confused.

Why did she want to leave?

He just wanted her with him so bad.

“Why” Jughead questioned?

“Cause if we leave you won’t have annoying Archie on your back and you won’t have to go to that university anymore,” she said listing off all the reasons.

“But-“Jughead tried to protest to this random absurd idea.

“No Jughead if you love me you will move away” she demanded.

He was conflicted and confused.

He just wanted her here with him so bad.

So he told her he’d move.

“Goody,” she said in that beautiful tone he loved oh so much.

“Don’t tell Archie he’ll try to stop you?” she said.”

“Don’t you think he deserves to know” Jughead questioned her?

“No, he doesn’t love you or support you like a friend should so he’ll just try to stop your dreams.” She said smiling at him.

That wonderful beautiful smile he loved far too much.

“Only I love you” she spoke the words he loved to hear.

 “I love you too.” He answered back to her.

“I’ll be with you forever,” she said.

He had her here with him but somehow it didn’t make him feel the way he wanted.                                                                                      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)
> 
> pt 3 coming 4.1.19


	3. Chapter 3

Jughead was most definitely not crazy for following that girl he loved so much. No, he’s crazy at all. He needed to feel her love. It had taken him only 25 minutes to pack. He left most of his stuff behind. It was mostly her insisting that encouraged him to leave everything behind.

“C’mon baby we’re starting a new life together you don’t need that” she was speaking of the vase his mother had given him.

“The only things you need are your clothes and me” she had said that speaking of the pendant his mother had given him.

She reminded him so much of Betty. So much that she might as well be her without the name.

 And all he needed was to feel her love.

Her tiny hands with those barely-there fingernails encircled his wrist as she led him out of his apartment. He was tempted to drop this whole crazy plot. That beautiful voice of hers stopped him.

 He needed to feel her love.

He sent the text to Archie at 5:30 pm precisely. Jughead liked things precise. He had sent Archie a simple

**Jughead: “can’t make it tonight have fun!”**

He didn’t even feel bad for lying. Archie replied at 5:37 pm precisely.

Jughead liked precise.

**Archie: “Okay bro maybe next time?”**

He replied at 5:40 pm precisely.

Jughead liked precise.

 She sat there in his backseat hovering over his shoulder. Her warm breath fanning over his shoulders. He liked her warm breath. It made him feel not so alone.

He just needed her love.

She hadn’t spoken at all since they had set out and he was nearly desperate to hear her voice.

Her silence made his ears ring.

She had sat in the back seat until 1:42 am.

She finally spoke at 1:43 am.

“I love it when you take my advice; this was a good choice for you to move,” she said.

They stopped for food at 4:50 am precise.

Jughead liked precise.

“How many,” the bored waitress asked him her teeth peeking from between her lips.

 “Um 2” He replied in a just as bored tone.

She furrowed her eyebrows at him in obvious confusion.

“Is the other coming along later?” She questioned clearly confused by his request.

Jughead just blinked back at her.

“Alrighty, then sir right this way,” she said shooting him an awkward smile.

She led him to a small table right next to the window. She trailed behind him her flip flops making that noise.

Flip flop.

 Flip flop. Just like his heart made around her.

He needed her love.

 “I think you should get a burger and fries,” she said smirking at him. “We can share that because we both like that.” She shot him one of those wondrous straight dazzling smiles.

“Okay,” Jughead replied.

The waitress their order and went to put it in.

Betty loved burgers and fries. They had always been her favourite paired with a vanilla milkshake. She was basically Betty to him.

She was the first to speak up while they waited.

“So Jughead are you tired yet,” she asked him.

He cleared his dry throat and took a sip of the water the waitress had brought to him before he spoke.

“Not yet but I might have to stop to rest before we reach California.”

“C’mon Jughead don’t be a baby you don’t need rest,” she said to him.

“But we’re still about 28 hours to go,” he said trying to reason with the beautiful captivating girl.

She huffed at him. “Whatever you just don’t like to respect my wishes do you” she scowled at him with that beautiful mouth then continued. “How many times do I have to tell you; you don’t need sleep you need me.”

Betty always reassured him of this of course. Because who needed sleep when he had Betty. Who needed sleeping when he had her.

Jughead was ready to reply but then the waitress came and when he looked back she was gone.

At 1:27 pm they reached Utah.

She wasn’t anywhere so he decided he would stop at a hotel and if she showed up he would just say he wanted a rest.

He didn’t need sleep though. He just needed her to love him as Betty once had.

The vacancy sign was blinking in bright neon red lights. He walked up to the front desk to request a room. The moment he reached up there he felt hot breath on his neck. Her hot breath.

 “What do you think you’re doing” she hissed in his ear in that cruel voice he hated.

“I’m tired” he muttered somehow feeling ashamed.

“I don’t care I told you, you don’t need sleep we just need to get to California”

Her beautiful face with those sunken cheeks had a large scowl on her face.

The man at the desk was staring at him in a strange way. He watched the man’s thin pale pink lips move to form words. 

Words that Jughead seemed not to be able to comprehend.

“Just leave” she demanded in his ear.

 So that’s just what he did he turned on his heel and walked out of the hotel climbing into his 2002 red Subaru.

Once he was sitting in the car her head whipped to look at him. Her golden hair whipping around her face.

“Why don’t you listen to me Jughead you don’t need sleep you don’t need Archie you don’t need anyone or anything besides me,” she said to him ending her sentence with a charming toothy smile.

All he needed was her love.

With that sentence, he put the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot to the hotel. She sat next to him for the next 4 hours. His eyes were so tired. He just needed sleep. He was just so exhausted. But he loved her so he wouldn’t sleep. He felt himself starting to drift to sleep. He had been up for 32 hours. She was still sitting next to him staring straight ahead.

“Can I pull over for a sec please to just rest my eyes” Jughead practically begged the beautiful girl next to him.

He just needed her love.

Her green eyes snapped to him.

She blinked at him for a few seconds those thick eyelashes brushing against those rosy pink cheeks.

 “Why” she questioned looked perplexed by his request.

 “I’m kinda falling asleep right now and I don’t want to crash and hurt you” Jughead mumbled.

That ashamed feeling was starting to creep into the pit of his stomach once again.

 

Her silence was deafening.

He just wanted her to say something.

Anything.

He just needed her love.

Finally, she spoke.

It had felt like an eternity.

“Go ahead” her soft voice spoke.

She sounded how Betty would sound when she’d calmed down and was ready to love him again and not be so angry. Maybe she was ready to love him again.

She smiled at him the corners of her cherry coloured lips rising with her smile.

“Thank you,” Jughead said feeling grateful he could take a break just a small one.

 Once he had pulled over he felt her crawl over the console into his lap. Her little feet curling around his stomach.

“You can only rest for a couple of minutes you don’t need sleep you just need me.”

She had been repeating that phrase since they left. It was something Betty had also constantly reminded him of.

Jughead was jolted awake by a harsh shaking on his shoulder. Once he opened his eyes there she was. Her golden hair falling around her perfect circular face. 

Her lips were puffed out in concentration of waking him up.

“Wake up Jughead you said only a few minutes,” she said in a whiny tone.

“You don’t need sleep,” she said repeating that phrase she had been saying since early that day.

A phrase Betty never let him forget.

 “I know,” he said.

He wasn’t quite as sure of himself as he wanted to be. She smiled at him that charming smile he loved so much. He put the car into drive and pulled off of the side of the country he had pulled off onto.

They had been humming along to the radio as they continued on their way to California.

“How far away are we," she questioned him?

“About another 10 hours” he muttered his reply back to her.

 “Awesome,” she said in that giddy voice he loved so much.

 At that moment his phone vibrated from its spot on the console next to him. He began to reach for his phone to check it but he felt her hand intercept and grab it instead. He focused his eyes back on the road waiting in silence for her to tell him who it was.

She let out a little groan.

“What’s wrong” Jughead questioned.

“It’s your friend Archie god he’s a nuisance” she complained.

“Why what’d he say,” Jughead asked his curiosity peaked.

“He’s worried about you,” she said putting air quotes with her wonderful fingers with barely-there nails around the word worried.

Jughead had been driving almost none stop.

He was so exhausted.

 He just needed sleep.

 No, he just needed her love.

 She had disappeared 37 minutes ago precisely.

 Jughead liked precise.

Her beautiful voice was ringing in his  head repeating the phrase he heard time after time from Betty “No one else loves you just me.”

The wonderful words he’d been yearning to hear since he first saw her.

Jughead was just so tired.

She didn’t want him to sleep and what she wanted is what made him happy even if it might hurt him.

 All he needed was her love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Due to EOY testing pt 4 coming 4.22.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	4. Chapter 4

Jughead had left Riverdale at 5:00 pm on Wednesday.

He arrived in California at 6:19 pm on Friday.

For the last day, he had been receiving texts from his kinda friend Archie. Most of them reading something along the lines of

“Where the heck are you, bro, you like disappeared.

She told him not to tell Archie where he had gone. So he ignored Archie. She had guided him to a hotel she wanted them to stay till he could find an apartment.   
  
Despite being awake nonstop and only having around 3 hours sleep in the past day he couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried. Every time he tried to close his eyes she was there hissing hateful words in his ear from those beautiful rosebud lips.

“We came here to be together and you wanna sleep, really Jughead do you even love me?”

He wished he could just ignore her.

But she gave him that same warm fuzzy feeling Betty gave him. The feeling he never wanted to leave because sometimes she made him feel like shit but at least he was wanted.

All he wanted was to feel wanted.

 He had given up on sleeping precisely 56 minutes ago.

Jughead liked things precise.

She offered him her company but he wasn’t sure it was what he really wanted.

Her big green eyes with those thick dark lashes just stared at him. When those beautiful full cherry lips did speak they spewed nothing but hate. He blamed her coldness on his lack of sleep.  


He felt himself finally starting to drift off.

Finally, sleep.

 Finally, an escape from the world he was trying to defeat.

 He just wanted to ignore her.

It felt like the restless nights where Betty was sleeping soundly curled into his side but he was lying wide awake. Betty didn’t care about the darkness under his eyes. Betty enjoyed it. Betty enjoyed seeing him alone and falling apart. Just like her.

The moment he fell asleep his dreams were riddled with her and Betty. The hate they often spewed at him playing on a vicious loop.

 “No one loves you Jughead, not even me I just feel sorry for you because you’re literally insane” she cackled.

He didn’t understand.

He loved her so much.

But she hated him.

“No one loves you as I do,” Betty spoke softly.

“I feel sorry for you honestly I’m the only one who can ever love you.” She spat.

He woke up many times during his sleep last night and it was the furthest thing from restful.   
She was there in all her glory when he awoke. Her short pale legs with little scars around the ankles. Her long arms with the bony hands attached with those ever-present barely-there fingernails.

Then there was her face.

Her beautiful face.

The face reminded him of when times would get worse for him and Betty.

The face he just couldn’t seem to stop loving.

 “Hi Jughead feels like I’ve been waiting hours for you to wake up,” she said to him.

She had an odd look on that beautiful face. Her light sparse eyebrows were furrowed causing little wrinkles in her forehead. Her lips were puffed out in concentration.

“What’s wrong?” Jughead asked her.   
“Your friend Archie has been texting you all morning complaining about how if you don’t reply soon he’s gonna call your mom or something.” She was clearly annoyed.

Just like Betty always was. Just like her Betty never liked Archie. Betty never liked someone caring for him except her.

“Just text him back and tell him I'm fine and decided to take a trip,” Jughead said sending her a smile.

She seemed delighted with this and her bony fingers with her barely-there nails flying across the keyboard of his phone.

“Are ya excited to find us a nice place?” she said setting down the phone in her lap.  


“Yes, I am. I’m so excited we’re able to be together” Jughead said smiling at her.

“Me too Jughead!” She squealed running to him to connect their lips and throw her thin arms around his neck in a hug.

 “Oh, and Jughead let’s make sure you don’t meet any new friends so that you won’t have anyone to take you away from me,” she said to him with a sorta smirk on those cherry coloured rosebud lips.

Betty never wanted him to have friends either. She said it took him away from her the only friend she let him have was Archie because Archie was safe to be friends with. Until he wasn’t and Archie and Jughead’s mother wrenched the two apart.

Jughead just smiled back at her.  


He climbed out of the tiny hotel room bed to glance at the clock that read 5:53 am. He walked to the kitchen to prepare himself something to eat for breakfast.

“What are you doing Jughead?” She asked walking about behind him.

 “I was gonna make myself something to eat before we go look for a place to live” he replied to her feeling that guilty feeling creeping into his stomach once again.

“Well you don’t need anything to eat” she snapped at him those big green eyes.

She was just like Betty. So there and so perfect.

“Oh okay, then I won’t eat anything and let’s just go find somewhere to live,” Jughead said.

“Yay,” she excitedly shouted starting to make her way to the door of the hotel room.  
  
They had been searching for an apartment all day. Jughead had liked apartment number 4 but she didn’t and that’s all that mattered. She liked apartment number 13 that they visited that day.

It was a slightly beat down cheap apartment and she liked it and that’s all that mattered to him. All that would ever matter to him. So by 6:45 that night Jughead had an apartment.

“I’m so glad we could get an apartment” she spoke to him in that excited voice he loved so much.

“Me too” he replied shooting her an exhausted smile.

He was just so exhausted.

 “C’ mon Jughead” she shook his shoulder then continued “no time for going to sleep you need to try to find a job!”

Her enthusiasm is what fueled him to go to a home depot at 7:49 pm to ask them if they were hiring. He was just so tired. He filled out an application then made his way back to the hotel he was still staying at.  
  
She was there to greet him at the door with one of her dazzling toothy smiles.

“So Jughead do ya have a job yet,” she asked expectancy in her big green eyes.

“Not yet it takes a couple of days” Jughead mumbled barely able to speak from the levels of exhaustion he had.

He just needed sleep.

Then she switched.

 It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch inside her.

Just like Betty used to

“What do you mean not yet you need to have a job by tomorrow,” she asked.

“I thought you were good enough to at least get a job at a hardware store but no” she sneered continuing to spew hate. “You’re not even good enough to get a job.”

The same hateful words Betty had muttered mere months ago.  
  
Jughead just blinked back at her not entirely sure what triggered her anger.

He never knew what would trigger Betty’s either.

It was always unprovoked.

His brain could barely focus. He was just so tired.

All Jughead managed to mumble out was a halfhearted “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry” she started with a cackle but was the most beautiful cackle he decided he had ever heard.

“You’re a failure Jughead” she finished.

Then she was gone.

He didn’t know whether he blinked or she disappeared right before his eyes.

All he knew was that she was gone.

That meant he could finally sleep.  
  
He expected her to be there waiting for him like she always was after they fought and he’d wake up the next morning.

She was nowhere to be seen.

He felt just as he had felt when Betty had disappeared after one of their fights.

He hadn’t had time to feel any guilt for their fight last night.

He was just too exhausted.

 But as he woke up and she was nowhere to be seen he felt as if he might actually be sick. Hot tears pricked the corners of Jugheads green eyes.

She was right he was a failure and he had failed her.

He hated himself for that.

All he craved & yearned for was her.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Pt 4 coming 5.6.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for self-harm if this may trigger you please don't read.

She hadn’t come back yet after 3 days.

Jughead knew he had royally screwed up.

Familiar panic of abandonment filled his gut. The heat and full feeling of the guilt almost made him want to be sick.

She had left just the same as Betty had.

But unlike Betty, she was yet to return.

He just missed her so much.

The past night without her in the apartment was the loneliest night of his life. A

Archie hadn’t stopped texting him.

Frankly, it was getting on his nerves.

All he wanted all he craved and all he needed was her.

So here he was on the sidewalk in front of the Home Depot he got a job at wishing her to come to him. He looked up from studying his hands and there she was.

But it wasn’t her.

No most definitely wasn’t her.

He rubbed his eyes.

  
There she was still before him.

Standing there in all her beauty.

“I hate you Jughead and as does everyone else” she evilly spat at him.

The same words Betty had uttered to him.

He could no longer see her.

Just hear her.

“You’re an idiot for treating the way you did.”

“No one loves you, No one” she spat viciously at him.

He was loving the cruel words she spitting at him.

They sounded so beautiful coming from those wonderful lips.

 “Look I’m so sorry” Jughead tried to apologize to her.

All he needed was her forgiveness.

“No you don’t” she spat.

“You don’t love me if you loved you wouldn’t sleep” she hissed in his ear.

He could feel her warm breath on his ear but he could not see her.   
  
“I’m sorry it won’t happen again just please come back” Jughead begged hot tears blurring his vision making the street lamp lights look odd.

 “No you need to learn a lesson you won’t be seeing me for a while.”

 With every word, she spoke he felt his heart cracking.

“If you truly love me then in the time I’m gone you won’t sleep or speak to anyone,” she said her voice somehow becoming warmer.

The thought of her coming back warmed his heart.  
  
“I’ll do anything for you to forgive me, "Jughead said speaking his thought aloud.

Then her face was right in front of him “Thank you Jughead time will tell though” then she was gone.

He wasn’t sure if he blinked and she was gone or she disappeared.

Jughead pulled himself up from the sidewalk determined to fulfil her wishes.

He had to do as she asked he had to.

He loved her.

He needed her presence with him to keep him sane.   
  
The first thing he did when he got home was text, Archie.

**Jughead: “I’m fine I went to visit mom.”**

 Then he left the apartment and went to the small river and flung his phone into the river. Now Archie could not get in between Jughead and her. After he returned back from getting rid of his phone there she was.

“Hey Jughead” she spoke giving him one of those smiles he loved and missed so much.

“You really made me happy by doing that,” she said standing up from the chair was sitting on and wrapping her bony arms around his arms.

“I did,” Jughead asked her in a hopeful tone.

Maybe now she’d forgive him.

Just as Betty had forgiven him and he had forgiven her.

 Just a few moments later she was gone. Her thin arms no longer wrapped around his waist in that comforting embrace.  
  
Jughead decided to pass the time by taking a shower. He must not sleep.

As he was washing his hair he saw here.

She was here.

She was naked and he could see her ribs poking out from her stomach.

Her beautiful pale entrancing stomach.

Then she was there in his ear whispering “do it.”

He wasn’t quite sure what she meant by do it.

“If you really love me you’ll do it” her soothing voice whispering in his ear causing her hot breath to fan across his naked shoulders.

Then she was in front of him. Holding was looked to be a pair of tweezers. Jughead furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Then she brought the tweezers to her pointer finger and gripped the skin of the tip of her finger with the tweezers. Then she twisted the tweezers.   


Jughead watched as little droplets of blood dripped from the tip of her beautiful long fingers tinting the bottom of the shower a pale pink.

She smiled at him a large wide heartwarming smile.

“Now you,” she said in almost a whisper.

Jughead blinked back at her.

“Do it if you love me” she hissed in a hateful tone.

Jughead grabbed the silver tweezers from her with shaking hands. He just wanted her to be happy. He took the metal tool and pinched the top of his finger just as she had done a few short moments ago.   
  
Then he pinched the tweezers around the tip of his finger drawing tiny droplets of blood. Pain consumed his body. From his fingertips to his toes. He needed her forgiveness. He twisted the tweezers painfully. He pulled the tweezers away from his finger a small chunk of his finger falling to the bottom of the tub and washing down the drain. The pain in his finger was so intense as it bled quicker than before. He looked up and she was there smiling at him. Then she was gone just like that. He just stood there in the shower dumbly watching the blood come out of the wound on his finger.   
  
Eventually, he stepped out the shower and wrap the wound on the tip of his finger in toilet paper then went about getting dressed. Once he opened the bathroom door there she was again. She was still naked and was beaming at him.

“I’m so proud of you Jughead,” she said flinging herself around him as she had done earlier.

He wrapped his arms around her tiny slender body.

He could feel her spine with his hands sprawled across her back.  

She pulled away and pecked his cheek lightly with her beautiful full lips.

He relaxed and let his eyes softly close and relished in the feel of her lips on his bony cheeks.

He willed her to not disappear silently when he opened his eyes. 

She always disappeared when he needed her most. Just like Betty.

Jughead didn’t sleep at all the night before.

He needed her forgiveness.

He would not sleep.

He pulled his car into home depot’s parking lot at 9:45 that next morning. He was 15 minutes early. He decided to go ahead and go into work. Good first impression huh. He walked into the building and into the back and spotted the man who had interviewed him. He decided to walk over to the man to announce his arrival. He tapped on the man’s shoulder to gain his attention.

“Ahh Jughead you’re early,” the man said immediately recognizing Jughead.

“Yeah, I figured since I got here early I might as well just come in and get to work,” Jughead said giving the man a small smile.

“Alrighty then,” the man said clapping a heavy hand on Jugheads back then continuing “you can go ahead and get to training.”

Jughead gave the happy man a small nod of his head.  


“Alright, son this way,” the man said starting to walk away to guide Jughead to were the training class was held.

What Jughead assumed was his boss sat him next to a boy who looked to be about 19 slouched down typing quickly on his phone. Jughead sat in silence as he waited for the orientation to begin. Finally, after what seemed to be forever a tall man with tall legs and a long torso walked out to talk to all the employees.

“Hiya, Jughead.”

Jughead slightly jumped then turned to his right and she was sitting next to him grinning from one beautiful ear to the other.

Jughead so desperately wanted to tell her here not now.

All he needed was her forgiveness.

He was grateful when she stayed silent next to him and faced that beautiful body towards the man who was doing the orientation.   
  
     The man was talking about safety precautions and Jughead began to feel his eyes starting to shut. He awoke himself abruptly every time he started to fall asleep. He was so exhausted. He turned his head to check if she was still next to him. She was concentrating on him, her eyebrows furrowed at him. He turned his head back to the front just as the man finished speaking. Everyone was standing up.

She hovered over him the entirety of his first day. Anytime a customer approached him and he tried to provide them with help she became angry at him.

He was just so tired.

He was so grateful to be able to finally leave the large building at 8:30 pm. She was waiting for him once he reached his car. She didn’t speak to him at all the entire time he drove them back to his apartment. She finally spoke once they had got back to his apartment.

“Do you like your job?” She questioned him.

“It’s alright I guess” Jughead mumbled with a shrug of his shoulder.   
  
“I don’t like it, it takes you away from me,” she said in a slightly whiny tone and a pout on those wonderfully full lips.

Betty never liked him to have a job either. It always took him away from her.

 “You were the one who wanted me to get it in the first place,” Jughead said in a slightly annoyed tone.

Then he felt a harsh pressure on his stomach as she sunk her bony fist into his stomach.

“What is with the attitude Jughead don’t you love me?” She asked furrowing her sparse eyebrows at him.

“Yes, of course, I love you,” he said.

“Don’t you want me to forgive you for previous things?” she said a glare taking over her features.

“Yes,” Jughead replied.

“Then quit your job and let’s move somewhere else,” she said looking him dead in the eyes with her large green eyes.  


Jughead was shocked by her request.

He wanted her forgiveness so bad.

 He wanted her love so bad.

Her love was far more suffocating and wonderful than Bettys. It was worth any and every sacrifice he may have to make.

He was just so exhausted.

 “Okay,” Jughead said in a barely audible tone.

Her features lit up at his response and she threw those bony arms around his shoulders in an embrace. Jughead wasn’t sure what he was doing.

All he needed was her forgiveness.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> pt 6 coming 5.20.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; Body horror

  
For the second time in the last week, he was leaving his whole life behind for her.

He had barely lived in California for 5 days.

He was so exhausted.

He did not want to leave at the moment.

She insisted if he loved he would leave right then.

So Jughead repacked all his stuff shoved it into the back of his red car and set out on his way to Cleveland, Ohio.

He was not quite sure why she wanted to leave again.

No one had tried to hurt his or her relationship like some had back in Riverdale.  
  
Once they were in the car she insisted to keep the AC cranked as cold as it could get.

Jughead’s whole body burned from lack of sleep and being so cold.

His eyes were so heavy and they stung as if someone had dripped acid in them.

He had not slept in over 48 hours.

He would not sleep though.

He needed her love.

More than he had ever needed Betty’s

Therefore, he kept on his way.

He was surprised that she had stayed with him for the past 6 hours.

Last time when he was travelling to California, she had disappeared by now.   
  


He felt himself drifting off as he was driving.

He needed to pull over.

He needed to pull over to sleep.

 But, he loved her far too much to pull over.

He was so tired.

He could feel himself slipping but she was far more important than any human desire could ever be.

Then it happened.

He had slipped off or his eyes had closed for a few moments.

He was not sure what had happened.

He awoke to him flinging forward out of his seat.

He felt his body glide through the glass of the windshield.

He heard her cackling as he landed on the grass. 

Pain filled his body as he thumped onto the grass.

He could not move.

He tried to lift his head up to look around but it felt as if he was glued to that spot on the grass.  
  


Then he heard loud screeching noises of tires and something that sounded like sirens.

He felt someone forcing his eyelid open.

All he could see was her.

Her beautiful face.

All he could hear was her.

She looked more like Betty than she ever had before.

Her beautiful laugh.

All he could feel was her.

Her beautiful silky creamy skin.

All he could feel was her.

He was being lifted by something and placed onto something.

All he could feel was her.

He felt himself moving.

Was he moving or was she moving him?

She was pushing him along urging him to keep going.   
  
Then he heard it an unidentified voice screaming

“Clear.”

 Shock waves went through his body making him gasp in pain.

 “He’s starting to flatline” the same voice from before shouted out.

He felt that shock again as someone shouted clear again.

 “What happened to the other family” he heard a faint female question.

The man let out a sigh.

“The little girl died” the man replied to her in a grave tone.   
He blinked and then there she was. 

Standing before him completely naked. 

A dazzling smiled that he loved so much placed on those rosebud lips.

 “How’re you Jughead?” She asked him.

Jughead found himself unable to respond his voice came out in gibberish.

He would be alright as long as she stuck around.

‘Cause all he needed was her love.

She smiled at him as he struggled to form the words he so desperately wanted to say to her. 

Then everything shifted.

There she was but it almost wasn’t her.

Her body morphed and her naked body was covered in cuts.

All over her legs arms and face.

There was blood dripping from her fingertips as she stared at him and sobbed.

“This is all your fault” she screamed at Jughead through a thick heart-wrenching sob.

Jughead could feel himself crying too.

Just as he had hurt Betty he hurt her.

He didn’t deserve her forgiveness or love just as he had never deserved Betty’s

He was trying to apologize but all that was coming out was gibberish.

 “Why won’t you speak to me Jughead this is your fault” she was swinging her bloodied arms around in frustration.  
  
Then there was someone else next to her.

He recognized that face the second he saw it.

Archie was standing there.

He was naked just like her.

He had a large pink scar that ran all the way across his stomach.

“This is all your fault Jughead” Archie screamed at him.

It wasn’t Archie’s voice though.

All he could hear was Betty and his ears were ringing and his whole body was burning.

Jughead was trying so hard to say sorry just to make things right again.

Then Archie turned to her and connected his thin lips with her puffy cheery shaded lips and began kissing her beautiful mouth.

Jughead was trying so hard to scream.

Nothing was coming out but gibberish.

He deserved this.

 

A little girl emerged from between her and Archie.

The little girl’s dark hair was pulled into a French braid going all the way down her back and reaching her butt.

Her head was slightly dented with a massive bruise on her forehead. 

The little girl was crying too.

“How could you do this to me.” the child screamed through a sob.

Jughead wanted so bad to just say he was sorry.

“This is all your fault” Archie screamed at him over and over again till his voice was hoarse.

She and the little girl chanted along with Archie.

 “This is all your fault.”  
Jughead was screaming.

All their voices were melding together into one that sounded just like Betty.

He wanted them to stop.

He wanted to apologize.

He wanted this torture to just stop.

He needed a break.

Archie began kissing her again.

The little girl remained screaming.

“I was only 11 how could you kill me.” The girl was crying the bruise on her forehead getting larger and larger and spreading down her neck.

“I’m sorry” Jughead was trying to scream.

 Everything was coming out gibberish.

Then it happened.

An intense pain shot through his whole body and he screamed.

His body shot forward in the bed he was laying in.   
A nurse came running into a room.

“Jughead you’re awake,” she said a bright smile on his face.

“Where are they,” Jughead asked the nurse.

He needed her.

He needed to apologize.

It was all his fault.

The nurse's red eyebrows furrowed at him “I’m sorry who.”

“Her, Archie and the little girl I have to tell them I’m sorry” Jughead was frantic.

 “I’m sorry I really don’t know who you’re talking about but if you hang tight I’ll go grab your doctor.”

The nurse started to exit the room but Jughead stopped her.

“Wait” he almost shouted.

She turned around her red hair turning with her

“Yes?” She asked smiling at him.

“What happened,” he asked her.   
  
A grave look passed over the nurse's freckled face.

She cleared her throat then spoke “I’m really not supposed to tell you it’s up to the police.

“Please” Jughead begged.

The nurse looked as if she was evaluating her options “you were in a car accident Jughead it was a head-on collision.”

 She frowned at him sorrow washing over her features.

“What happened to the people in the other car” Jughead stuttered out.

The nurse visibly swallowed and looked as if she might cry. “Well, there were 3 people in the car a mother a father and their daughter” tears were glittering in her baby blues. “The little girl didn’t make it the injury to her head was too much and she died on impact they believe.”

“Oh” was all Jughead managed to get out.  
“Yeah” the nurse choked out.

“Anyways,” the nurse said wiping at her eyes then plastering a smile on her face.

“My names Cheryl and I’m gonna be taking care of you during your stay here and I’m gonna go get the doctor to check you out,” she said as she walked out the door cracking the door behind her.

Jughead rubbed his hand over his face and burst into tears.

The little girl's voice was ringing in his ears.

Archie’s voice was ringing.

Betty’s voice was ringing.

But most all of all her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Normally I try to maintain an every 2-week schedule but finals are coming up and my sister graduates soon so instead the next chapter will be posted 5.29.19! 
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; Graphic scenes of self-harm & body horror. 
> 
> If this may trigger you in any way please don't read.
> 
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255

Jughead sat numbly on the exam table as the doctor made him follow his finger as he guided it around Jughead’s line of vision making him dizzy.

He could hardly focus on the doctor’s chubby freckled finger when his mind was running on overdrive right now.

All he could think about was that little girl.

His mind was plagued with her face.

She was so young.

She didn’t deserve what Jughead had done to her.

“Jughead” the doctor spoke to get his attention.

Jughead’s eyes met the doctors “yes?”

“You were not following my finger very well are you sure your head is feeling alright.” The doctor questioned him his messy grey eyebrows furrowing.

Jughead cleared his throat then replied to the doctor’s question “yes my head feels fine I guess I'm just kinda distracted.”

The doctor looked at Jughead for a brief moment before walking over to his slim laptop to type something.  


The nurse pushing open the door to his hospital room caught both Jughead’s and the doctor’s attention.

“Um I hate to interrupt but the police need to have a brief talk with Jughead” Cheryl mumbled shyly.

 “Of course Cheryl I will be done in just one moment then they may come in and speak with him.” The Doctor said shooting the shy nurse Cheryl a smile.

She shut the door as she retreated from the doorway.

“Well Jughead good luck I’ll probably be in tomorrow to check on you it looks as if there’s no major damage but we’ll see,” the doctor said giving him a kind old smile that resembled one of a grandpa’s.  
  
The doctor left the room and there she was.

She was grinning a toothy smile at him.

“Hiya Jughead looks like you got yourself in some hot water didn’t ya.”

She sounded just like Betty. Her voice no longer had the raspy tinge.

She sounded identical to Betty.

The door swung open before he could reply to her statement.

“Hello Jughead my name is detective Anderson and I’m just here to ask you a few questions.”

The man’s accent was thick Jughead couldn’t quite place his finger on where he was from. Jughead met the detective’s eyes as he sat down. Jughead quickly glanced away immediately filling with the guilt of what he had caused.

It felt as if some sort of weight had been laid on his chest.

He had murdered a little girl

This was far worse than what she had ever made him feel.

Far worse than Betty.

He wished he could take it all back.  
  
“Now no worries right now Jughead you aren’t in any trouble.” Jughead felt the weight get heavier as the guilt increased inside of him.

“So first off when you hit the other car were you in any way distracted?” The detective questioned him.

“I feel asleep,” Jughead said bluntly.

The detective seemed taken aback that he was so quick to be truthful.

The detective cleared his throat.

 “Well, in that case, were you aware that you had been tired before you got behind the wheel?”

 “Yes,” Jughead simply replied staring back at the detective no emotion to detect on his face.   
  
The detective looked at a loss for words. “Are you aware of what happened to the other family?”

The detective asked clearly trying to crack Jughead’s emotionless facade.

“Yes.” Jughead trailed off for a moment then continued, “The little girl of the family is dead.”

The detective cleared his throat seeming uncomfortable by Jughead’s bluntness.

“That will be all, for now, we should be in touch within 7 days is there a number we can reach you at?” 

“No, I broke my cellphone” Jughead replied.

“Okay is there an address we can reach you at?” the Detective asked him.

Jughead knew it would be suspicious if he told him he didn’t have a definite address currently so he just gave him his old LA address.  
  
After he had supplied the detective with his address there was awkward shuffling and an even more awkward handshake as the detective left. Not even 5 minutes after the detective had left his room door opened again and in came Cheryl. She had a pleasant smile on her freckled face as she came in to take his vitals again. He watched her as she walked across the room hips swaying with every step she took. She was humming a light tune as she jotted down his blood pressure and such.  
  
“Alright Jughead everything seems pretty good as of now the doctor probably won’t be in to check on you till tomorrow but don’t worry I’ll be giving you good company by checking your vitals every few hours,” she said to him.

Jughead couldn’t help it when the corners of his mouth lifted to smile back at her.

She reminded him of how Betty was in the beginning. Before things got bad and she got bad right along with them.

“Well I’ll be back in a few hours you can watch tv if you’d like make sure if you need to get up you hit this call nurse button and I’ll come help you,” she said to him a kind smile on her face.  
  
Jughead just gave Cheryl a nod of recognition as she walked out the door closing it gently and quietly behind her.

It wasn’t even 5 seconds before she was back taunting him.

“Well well well, who’s the slut?” she asked him cruelly.

“It’s just my nurse” Jughead replied to her violent tone for some reason feeling ashamed of himself.

She let out a snort at his reply. “First you kill someone then try to cheat on me” she snapped angrily at him.

“No, I would never cheat on you,” Jughead said helplessly defending himself.

“Do you think I’m stupid? killing that girl was just a distraction in hopes you would be able to rid yourself of me” she hissed at him angrily her bony hands reaching to wrap around his wrist tightly.

Jughead grimaced at the pain her tiny bony fingers were inflicting on his wrists.  


“Why did you fall asleep in the first place if you had just listened to me and not slept at all nothing bad would’ve happened” she snapped at him her grip on his wrist getting tighter.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop myself I just fell asleep without realizing it.”

 “Yeah right you just don’t like to listen to me and now you see where that lands you. You killed an innocent person Jughead.”

A large sinister grin was gracing her beautiful features. Jugheads lip was trembling at her words he knew what he had done. He had fallen asleep because he didn’t know how to listen to her. If he had just listened to her that little girl would still be okay.

If he had just listened to Betty they’d still be together. If he had just cut everything toxic from his life he’d still have Betty and he wouldn’t be in this mess.

He’d take Betty’s cruel words over this any day.  
  
“Just face facts Jughead you murdered someone but why are you still alive? You don’t deserve the pleasure of being among the living” the sinister grin was growing larger on her face causing her pink rosebud lips to split and bleed.

“I’m sorry” Jughead choked out through a thick sob.

 “No you aren’t” she snarled at him “If you were sorry you would have listened to me and not slept in the first place.”

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry,” Jughead was practically screaming through his sobs desperate for her to understand he was sorry.

Just as he had begged Betty to forgive him not long ago.  
  
  
“No you aren’t you murdered someone because you can’t be strong you idiot” she screamed at him the sinister smile still holding its place on her plump lips.

 “You’re a worthless idiot who can’t follow instructions” she snarled at him “A little girl is dead because you don’t know how to listen”.

Jughead had curled into a ball on the bed of the hospital room and was screaming out “I’m sorry” through his thick body racking sobs.

“Oh my God would you shut the hell up,” she said to him rolling her large green eyes at him. “You’re pathetic.”

Jughead tried so hard to take deep breaths but it was as if his lungs were stopping him from breathing in.   


“Oh, you poor pathetic baby,” she said to him taunting him.

Her stringy blond hair was hanging around her face as she was bent down bony hands on her knees as she taunted him. “There’s a way you can fix this make yourself feel less guilty make me forgive you,” she said to him the sinister overtaking her features again.

Jughead sniffled through his sobs and looked up through bleary eyes at her. “

How I’ll do anything” Jughead spoke still choking on the sobs who kept clawing up through his throat.

She smirked at him “C’mon follow me and I’ll show you.”  
  
After Jughead had successfully left his room, he followed her as she raced down the hallways of the large hospital. She finally came to a stop in front of a room that “authorized personnel only” written in bold across the door.

“Are you sure we can go in here?” Jughead questioned her in confusion.

 “Yes’ she looked over at him a wide splitting grin crossing over her features as she pulled a key card out of the pocket of her long sweater.

She swiped the keycard over the glowing red pad then pushed the door open.   
  
Jughead entered the room swallowing nervously as he examined all the medical supplies in the room. She walked past him shutting the door behind him. She stopped walking once she reached a locked cabinet.

“How are you going to get into there?” he asked getting more and more anxious by the second.

“Easy,” she said smacking her lips together then pulling a key from the pocket of her long sweater, which dragged the ground causing the bottom to have dirt on it.   
  
She slid the key into the lock and twisted it opening the cabinet as she unlocked it. She reached in and pulled out a small cardboard box. She roughly ripped the box open revealing surgery equipment. Jughead stared down at the box in her hand his confusion and anxiety at an all-time high.

 “I want you” she began slowly tracing her finger up and down his arm.

“To use this on yourself” she finished grinning up at him and holding out a scalpel.   
  
Jughead swallowed thickly “What do you mean?”

She grabbed the scalpel out of the box and reached her arm out.

She dug the scalpel deeply into her skin until she punctured it and dragged it down her arm ripping it open.

Maggots and spiders began to scurry out of her open wound her arm as she began cackling.

Jughead let out a scream in horror at what was currently happening.

 “Now you do it” she slurred to him with a grin so large it appeared caused the edges of her mouth to rip open.

She was just like Betty. So wonderful. Always wanting to do just as she was doing. Always making sure she was in control.

He didn’t care though.

As long as she stayed with him.  
  
“Do it now” she snarled out at him shoving the scalpel into his hands.

With shaking hands, he drug the scalpel along his arm and barely made it ½ an inch before he screamed out in pain dropping the scalpel onto the floor.

It seemed as if his breath had left him, as the gash on his arm seemed to be a river of blood.  
  
He heard her muffled screaming but the blood pumping so loudly in his ears it was almost deafening. He could not bring himself to stop the bleeding.

This is what she wanted for him it would take away all his guilt.

He could hear pounding on the door he had come in through someone was trying to get in.

She was skipping around the room singing at the top of her voice.

The loud noises were all become too much.

He didn’t know if he could handle it.   
  
He heard a bang then everything was silent and his ears were ringing.

He looked up to where the source of the bang had come from.

Cheryl stood at the door mouth gaping in horror.

Then there were security guards next to her.

He and Cheryl made eye contact and he shifted his eyes down to her rubber shoes.

He watched them scurry over to one of the cabinets without a lock and withdrawing gauze.

She came over to him and squatted in front of him grabbing his hand and wrapping his arm in the gauze. He felt something drip against his hand and he looked up to see her eyes had a watery look to them.

“I can take it from here thank you,” Cheryl said to the security guards.  
  
“What were you doing,” she asked him after she had cleared her voice and stood up.

Jughead remained silent as he followed her actions and stood up as well.

 “Nothing” Jughead mumbled.

She cocked a brow at him then spoke: “Well you’re going to need stitches so you can explain it all to the doctor.”

Cheryl then walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with school (2 years of high school down 2 to go 😎 ) so updates will increase to every week! 
> 
> Therefore, pt 8 coming 6.5.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	8. Chapter 8

Jughead exhaled the large breath he was not aware he had been holding once his nurse Cheryl had left the room.

He shut his eyes and took deep breaths in and out to try to calm himself down.

“You need to get out of this hospital, don’t let them think you’re crazy” Jugheads eyes snapped open at her voice.

 “I can’t just leave” Jughead sputtered out still applying pressure to his wound.

“Who says you can’t just leave? That little red-headed slut” she said cocking a light thin brow at him.

Her brows were so much different than Betty’s full ones.  
Jughead cleared his throat “Cheryl said I need stitches,” Jughead said to her.

“Well, who gives a shit about what Cheryl said. You should only care about what I think,” She snapped at him large green eyes flashing.

Jughead was not sure how to respond to this.

She stared back at him waiting for his response. Jughead let out a large exhale of air through his nose “Fine after I get stitches I can sneak out of here.”

A satisfied smirk crossed over her beautiful hard features.

“I knew you’d see reason” with that she walked out of the room the large sweater poncho she was wearing hanging off her shoulders and dragging the ground.  
  
After a few moments, Jughead finally pulled himself off his spot on the floor. He stretched out his tight limbs then walked out of the room.

Still pressing the gauze to his arm, he began his walk back to his room.

On his way, back he passed Cheryl who informed him to come with her so he could get those stitches.

As he and Cheryl were finishing their walk back to his room Cheryl spoke up.

“I still want to know why in the heck you were taking slashes at your arm,” she said glancing over at him her large blue eyes holding concern.

“Force of impulse” Jughead replied to her dryly.

She turned her head and glared at him as she pushed open the door to his room and followed him in.

“Well the doctor should be in soon until them don’t do any more stuff on force of impulse,” she said.

Once Cheryl had left the room, he began fiddling with the gauze.

He peeled it back to look at the open wound. It had stopped bleeding but he could see the inside of the wound.

Jughead calmly leaned over to the trashcan and vomited.

What had he done?

He could have seriously hurt himself.   
  
“Ugh, you’re such an annoying baby” Jughead looked up at her wiping the vomit from the corners of his mouth.

“You can’t even stomach your own mistakes,” she said letting out a sardonic laugh.

“God, why do I even bother with you. I mean honestly, the only reason I have not left you is that no one else will want you. You’re so sad and pathetic not to mention a murderer.” Her voice took on a sinister almost evil tone at the word murderer.

Jughead swallowed thickly the vision of the little girl taking over his mind.   
  
“We need to leave now.” She snapped at him.

Always so demanding.

Just like his wonderful Betty.

Jughead was confused.

Why did she want to leave so bad?

“Why?” Jughead questioned.

 “Because that little detective is coming to talk to you tomorrow and if you don’t want him to arrest you for murder than I suggest we leave.” She replied to him.

Jugheads eyes widened at this, he had completely forgotten the officer/detective was coming back to talk to him.

Jughead could not afford to go to jail.  
  
“You’re right,” Jughead said.

“No we need to leave now” she snapped at him annoyance covering her features.

“But I still need to get my stitches,” Jughead said.

“Oh, who cares about the damn stitches?” She exclaimed.

“You can give yourself stitches let’s go” she demanded.

“Okay,” Jughead said.

He walked over to the little cabinet that held his clothes and pulled on the jeans and shirt he was wearing prior to the accident.

 “Okay let’s go,” she demanded walking out of the room and leaving it open for him to follow.   
  
Upon exiting his room, she of course was nowhere to be seen.

Just like Betty she left or turned hateful when things got rough.

Therefore, Jughead had to sneak his way out of the building by himself.

It took him a solid 5 minutes to get out.

Getting out was much easier than Jughead had anticipated.

Then it hit him.

He did not have a car.

Jughead groaned out then shoved his hand in his pocket to find his wallet.

Jughead thanked any religious God that might be real that his wallet remained in his pocket.

Jughead stopped the first person he saw walking into the hospital and asked, “Where is the nearest bus stop.”

The elderly woman looked at him sympathetically and then explained it was about 3 miles away.  
  
Jughead smiled at her and thanked her for helping him.

Once she was out of sight, he sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and quietly screamed into his hands.

He had two options walk 3 miles to the bus stop or go back inside and be stuck inside the hospital and possibly be arrested.

He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes in frustration.

He knew he had to go back inside.

She would hate him but he couldn’t walk around with the open wound he currently had on his wrist.

Jughead stood up in defeat from the curb and began making his way back towards the hospital.

He saw her in the distance leaning on the side of the hospital. Guilt was settled into the pit of his stomach making him feel as if he was being physically weighed down.

As he got closer, he could see her rosebud lips were tightly pursed in annoyance.

He knew what she thought of him going back into the hospital but it was his only option.

She had to understand this.

If she loved him she would understand.   
  
“You pathetic piece of shit” she shouted at him once he was within hearing length.

He was shocked by her harsh words, which hit him deep in his gut almost like a punch.

“I knew you couldn’t do it now you’re going to get what you deserve for murdering that girl” she spat at him angrily spit flying from her lips landing on his face.

Jughead was trying to form words mouth opening and closing.

“You just want to get back in there so you can see that red haired slut,” she said to him tauntingly.

Jughead tried to move past her but she was blocking the way.  
  
“Please let me back in. It will get me in much worse trouble with the law if I try to run away! Don’t you think that’ll raise suspicions?” Jughead said.

Then it was as if he blinked and she was gone.

He let out a sigh.

She was going to end up driving him crazy.

Now she was mad at him.

 Great.   
  
He tried to ignore the fight they had just had. If you could even call it a fight. He made his way back up the stairs to where his room was located as quietly as possible. He made it back up to his room with no problems just like when he snuck out. That was until he reached the room. Where he saw Cheryl frantically talking to Hospital security.

“Well shoot.” Jughead thought to himself.

He finally mustered up the courage to announce his presence to the occupants of the room. Cheryl’s head snapped to where he was standing when he cleared his throat.

“Jughead where the heck did you go? The Dr was ready to give you stitches. We could not find you anywhere! It has been nearly an hour.” Cheryl practically screamed at him.

“I um went for a walk,” Jughead muttered trying to come up with an excuse to his absence.

Cheryl rolled her eyes “You have the worst excuses I swear.” She huffed.   
  
“Um, ma’am, since he’s here now, is there anything else we can help with.” One of the tall security guards asked.

Most of the security guards were built quite large and very much intimidated Jughead.

“Yeah that’s fine for now but I think I might put in a request for someone to watch his room. He seems to like to sneak off quite often.” Cheryl said with an obvious jab at Jughead.

“Yes ma’am we’ll be sure to put in that request.” The same security guard said.

The 4 security guards then exited the room to get back to whatever duties they might have.  
  
Once they had left, Cheryl swirled on her heel to face Jughead “I’m gonna go get the doctor to do your stitches now. I swear if you move from this spot I’ll have you locked down to this table.” Cheryl said clearly frustrated with his recent behaviour.

“Alright.” Jughead complied going to sit down on the hard hospital bed.

“Good,” Cheryl said.

He felt bad for not listening to her and coming back into the hospital. He had to though. He would end up in jail if he hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Pt 9 coming 6.12.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; Suicide thoughts and/or actions
> 
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> 1-800-273-8255

Cheryl had left the room no more than a minute before the door to his hospital room slammed and he felt hands at his throat.

He could not breathe with the large slim hands wrapped around his throat.

He looked up into the face of who was holding his neck with their hands to see her beautiful face.

Her pink rosebud lips her set in a deep scowl, her large hazel eyes seemingly full of hatred.

Jughead reached his hands to her thin arms and began clawing to try to get her to release him.

He could not speak a word.

His world was starting to get fuzzy.

He was certain he was going to pass out.

Then she released his throat and he could breathe again.   
He began to gasp for air as his lungs finally stopped constricting and he could breathe again.

He looked up at her beautiful face in shock.

“What the hell was that for?” Jughead snapped.

Why would she do that to him did she want him to die?

She shrugged a bony shoulder at him.

“You deserve it anyway.” She said to him nonchalantly.

God, she sounded identical to Betty.

“What did I do?” Jughead asked her.

“You didn’t leave this hospital like I asked you to.” She snapped at him in almost a growl.   
  
Jughead’s eyes widened as he remembered she had been mad at him for not listening to her and fleeing the hospital.

“Listen I’m really sorry about that. I’ve been a really crappy person towards you recently-.”

His apology was stopped short as the door swung open and in came a dark-skinned doctor with Cheryl hot on his heels. Jughead held back a groan at the interruption.

He needed her love and he was never going to earn it back at this rate.  
  
“Who were you talking to?” Cheryl asked Jughead.

“Why are you so nosy?” Jughead shot back at her irritated.

“Whoa man chill,” Cheryl said to him with a chuckle.

“Do you ever shut the hell up?” Jughead fired back.

He was becoming more and more irritated by the redhead who once seemed to be decent.

Who knew she would be so annoying and nosy.

“Cheryl can you please be quiet so I can talk to Jughead.” The Doctor said to Cheryl seeming to be annoyed with her behaviour.

Jughead felt an odd sense of satisfaction at Cheryl’s meek “yes.”  
The doctor cleared his throat then began to introduce himself to Jughead.

“Hello, Jughead I’m Dr Shaperio. I am just going to go ahead and look at your wound then Cheryl will get in nice and clean. Then she’ll numb it up and then I’ll stitch it. You will want to watch it for the next few weeks after I stitch it back up make sure you don’t see any discolouration around the wound or your stitches get ripped.”

Jughead nodded his head in agreement.   
Once Dr Shaperio finished explaining everything to Jughead and looked at the wound on his arm Cheryl began to clean it then gave him a shot of numbing gel.

“That has to sit for about 10 minutes till we’re able to stitch you up.” Dr Shaperio said to him with a kind smile. Jughead gave the Doctor a nod to let him know he understood.

“If you don’t mind I’ll just sit in here and wait with you. I also have a few questions I need to ask you about how you obtained this wound. It’s a procedure to make sure everything’s alright.” Dr Shaperio said to him.

“Yeah sure,” Jughead mumbled.   
“Well if you don’t mind could you explain to me how you managed to get this wound?” The doctor asked him.

 Jughead felt his heart fluttering in his chest as if it had wings and wanted to take flight out of his chest.

“Um, I was just feeling a little down about why I was in the hospital and um took a scalpel and sliced my arm,” Jughead replied to the doctor trying to sugar coat what he had done as much as possible.

Dr.Shaperio’s eyebrows were furrowed, as he seemed to concentrate on what Jughead was saying.

“Okay, and do you know what brought on these feelings of harming yourself?” The Doctor asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jughead said back to the doctor.  
  
“Most of the time people don’t randomly do acts of self-harm like this.” The Doctor said to Jughead clearly trying to get him to tell him something.

 Jughead was growing agitated at the Doctor’s prying questions.

 “I don’t know why I did it. Hasn’t it been 10 minutes yet?” Jughead asked the doctor.

 “No, not yet Jughead. If you are not comfortable answering these questions for me, we’ll bring the psychologist in later.” The Doctor said.

Jughead was not sure what it was about this Doctor but he really annoyed Jughead with how much he was trying to get him to open up.  
  
“Bring the phycologist in later than,” Jughead demanded growing angrier and angrier at the Doctors prying questions.

“As you wish Jughead. Your nurse will be back in shortly. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to be under 24-hour surveillance.”

Jughead ignored the doctor.

The doctor then stitched him up and left the room informing him he’d be seeing the psychologist tomorrow.

As soon as the doctor left he felt her in his ear.

He felt her in his head.

He felt her all over.

“You know what to do Juggie. It’s what you have to do to be at peace.”

She was calling the shots.

Just like she always did.

Just like Betty always did.

Jughead breathed in deeply through his nose. He knew she was right.

What needed to be done had to be done.

He couldn’t keep putting off the inevitable.

He just wasn’t sure how to do it.

Once again though he could feel her hissing in his ear. She would help him find a way.

Jughead spent most of the day ignoring his nurse. Cheryl was replaced with some random guy called Reggie.

The entire day she just wouldn’t leave him alone.

No matter how much he wanted her to just shut up so he could just think.

She wouldn’t.

When opportunity sprung to leave his room he nearly squealed with glee.

Reggie had offered to take Jughead down to the cafeteria in order for Jughead to get some air.

As the two of them made their way through the hospital Reggie chatted mostly to himself seeing as Jughead wasn’t really listening.

Jughead wondered if Reggie knew Jughead wasn’t listening or if he just didn’t care that he wasn’t listening.

They eventually reached the cafeteria and Reggie ordered both of them their food and then the two of them were eating.

The silence didn’t bother Jughead. It finally gave him a few moments to hear her words and feel her nails digging at his scalp.

“You need to get him to give you the right materials for the note.” She whispered in his ear her teeth grazing his lobe.

“Um, Reggie? Is there any way I could get some writing supplies? I’m just used to writing in a diary and I feel it’s a good outlet for me.” Jughead said with a phoney smile.

“Oh yeah for sure dude. I probably couldn’t get you pens because they may pose as a weapon but I could probably get you some crayons and paper!”

“The meathead bought it, baby.”

Her voice sent ripples down his spine.

Her breath felt much too hot in the stuffy cafeteria. Then suddenly she was across the room and walking towards them.

Her long hair which was normally down and flowing was tied up in a tight ponytail.

Upon reaching the table she had a bright smile on her face.

She seemed to look different than normal. She looked happier, healthier even.

Her bony frame was more full it seemed.

“Hey, Reggie! How’s it going? Me and V have missed seeing you around!”

Jughead’s brows furrowed?

How did she know Reggie and why was she acting like he didn’t even exist?

Reggie went to reply before he was interrupted by her.

“Wait Juggie is that you?” She exclaimed

“In the flesh.” He muttered.

“Holy shit I never thought I’d see you again!”

Jughead just quirked a brow.

He wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

They saw each other nearly every day.

Hell, he’d seen her just a few short moments ago.

“Wait you two know each other” Reggie questioned.

“We used to date,” Betty said.

Betty cleared her throat.

“Anyway I’ve gotta run but since you’re staying here Jug we should catch up!”

She leaned down and gave him a quick hug then walked off.

Then again he heard her yelling at him. He had to end it.

Tonight.

Tonight was the night he ended it.

Jughead laid curled up on his side his nurse had left the room 97 seconds ago and he knew it was now or never.

He had written out his note and laid it neatly on the pillow of the bed.

He was ready.

He sat up slowly and shuffled his way across the room and opened up the window.

He was on the top floor of the hospital and looking down nearly made him sick. He had to do it though. It was the only escape.

The only way out.

Suddenly he felt her bony hand encircle his.

They would do this together.

Then he jumped.

It was a lie that his life flashed before his eyes as he fell.

All he thought about was her.

He thought about how wonderful Betty was until she wasn’t.

He thought about how Betty treated him so tenderly with soft touches until they turned rough.

He thought about Betty's soft words always spoken with love until they were filled with hatred.  

He thought about how when he had escaped Betty he came up with her.

And she was wonderful up until she wasn’t. Her touch was soft and tender until it wasn’t.

She had soft words until they turned sharp.

She spoke with love until those words of love turned to hate.

Then he landed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Epilogue coming 6.19.19
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)
> 
> [My multichap choni fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603795/chapters/41498024)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; Suicide
> 
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> 1-800-273-8255

I want to preface this by saying I’m so sorry. I’m mostly sorry to my mom & Archie.  
I should have told you guys I was getting bad before it went too far.  
But you have to understand she destroyed me.  
Betty Cooper ruined me.  
I’m so thankful you guys pulled me out of that situation helped me get away from her but in my mind, I could never escape her.  
You may think I’m just living in my delusion.  
That I’m just totally out of touch with reality and have no clue what’s going on.  
But that’s not what’s going.  
I know she isn’t real.  
I may have fooled myself in the beginning but now my eyes are wide open.  
I understand I made her up.  
However, you must understand that she was more real than anyone could ever imagine.  
She reminded me so much of Betty.  
She was there to remind me of Betty & in some sick screwed up way she was Betty.  
She was the bad side of Betty.  
She was the side of Betty that would yell & scream.  
She was the side of Betty that would hit me when things got bad.  
She was the side of Betty that encouraged my insomnia.  
She was the side that wanted me isolated.  
She was the side I hated most but couldn’t escape.  
I honestly cannot still live anymore.  
Because to live would mean to eternally be stuck with her always encircling my mind.  
Always there to taunt me.  
Always there to keep me from sleeping.  
Always there to keep me from eating.  
Always there to isolate me.  
But most of all she’ll always just be there.  
Her presence always looming making me sick & I can’t live with that.  
I can’t live with the decisions she impacted so strongly.  
Yes, I make my own decisions.  
Yes, I ultimately choose who I am but you wouldn’t understand how hard it is to escape her.  
She’s just so damn endearing.  
The type where you just want to be around her so that you can simply say that you’re around her.  
She wrapped herself around my entire mind.  
I couldn’t think straight.  
My grades were tanking and I couldn’t handle the pressure.  
She wanted to leave town and I was willing.  
I should’ve told you all what was going on but I didn’t.  
I didn’t need it troubling your minds.  
No one deserves to be treated the way she did me.  
Except I did deserve it.  
I always fed off everyone’s love taking but never giving somehow always screwing things up.  
Then I killed someone and I knew what had to be done, I just didn’t know when i'd be able to do it.  
She was clawing at my mind telling me how to do it.  
When to do it.  
I needed to get rid of her.  
She was eating away at my life she made me feel empty and hollow.  
She made me feel hopeless.  
Like I was sinking and would never be able to pull myself above water. Then I finally cracked the code.  
I knew what had to be done.  
She couldn’t die unless I did too.  
I’m aware I’m going to be dragging her to hell with me but at least she’ll be suffering too.  
For once the suffering will be mutual.  
This all may make no sense.  
I say I’m aware she’s not real but then say I need to die to be rid of her.  
I of all people know how screwed up that sounds but you have to understand she is real.  
She is more real than you reading this note or my body laying lifeless in the ground.  
I know this will be painful to read but you must.  
You must read it all. Because there’s only one thing left that I need and that’s for you all to understand.  
Understand why I stopped calling you mom.  
Understand why I stopped coming over to your place Archie.  
And I hope you all can forgive me because I’ve forgiven myself.  
And to you Betty I’m sorry.  
I’m sorry I met you because if I hadn’t things might just be okay.  
But I don’t want that living in your head because although you may be terrible I don’t want you or anyone to blame you.  
Because I love you.  
Always have and always will.  
I’m so sorry.  
With love,  
Jughead Jones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the end!
> 
> This fic is honestly my baby. I started writing it in 2017 and it I originally intended it to be a one shot (it was also originally a 1d fanfiction bc my love for them will NEVER die) Then somehow I picked up where i left off nearly 2 years after starting it and i'm so grateful to everyone who read, commented and left Kudos on this fic bc it honestly means the world to me when people leave comment, kudos or just read my fics in general. 
> 
> Even though this fic is finished I have lots of one-shots posted! (Some are even stranger things if that's ur thing!) 
> 
> Anyways thank you all again for your support on this fic bc it really does mean the world to me.
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://www.harryisqu33n.tumblr.com)


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